Music | ATHOL DICKSON

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I was pretty excited when The Nobel Prize committee awarded Bob Dylan the Nobel Prize for Literature, but apparently Bob isn’t. As you may know, he’s acting like the whole thing never happened. In case you wonder why, I have a few theories.

It could be Bob forgot. He is 75 after all, which is even older than Mick Jagger, and Mick has started to forget his own songs.

Or maybe Bob is feeling unworthy of the honor. If so, he’s certainly got a lot of Nancy Naysayers agreeing with him. But after all of Bob’s hard work, I think he deserves to win some awards, and the Nobel Prize isn’t a bad start. When it was first announced I even posted a few quotes from his better known songs to prove the great brilliantness of his brilliance. That was necessary, because even Bob’s greatest fans may not actually know how brilliant his lyrics are, due to Bob’s longstanding policy of translating them into an unknown language whenever he pronounces them out loud.

As Bob himself explained in this recent interview…

Another possibility: even though Bob stands up in front of thousands of adoring fans and “sings” a lot, he’s kind of shy. The interview above was very rare. He only gives two or three like that per decade. So maybe he doesn’t like winning prizes because he’s uncomfortable meeting new people.

Bob Dylan's awkward situation — Bob seems uncomfortable with this woman.

Bob Dylan's awkward moment — Bob also seems uncomfortable with this man.

Or it could be Bob simply doesn’t care about the prize, but he doesn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings by saying so. We all know how awkward winning stuff can be. When I won a garden gnome at a Save The Rodents! raffle I had to act all gushy about what a wonderful garden gnome it was, even though I really don’t care for garden gnomes. That was awkward. But when you stop and think about it, the Nobel Prize is not a garden gnome. It’s a medal made of 18 carat gold. Bob could melt it down and make it into something useful, like a universal translator.

Of course, it could also be that Bob simply doesn’t know he won the prize. People have been trying to tell him, but Bob hasn’t been answering the phone. So if you see Bob, please tell him the news, okay?

Bob Dylan wins the Nobel Prize for Literature — The Nobel Prize medal

The Nobel Prize committee has been making strange decisions for a while now, such as giving out the Peace Prize for things that haven’t been done. And giving the Prize for literature to a songwriter is certainly unusual. But if any modern songwriter deserves it, Bob Dylan does.

For younger readers who may not be familiar with his lyrics, here are some examples of his awesome way with words:

‘There must be some way out of here’
said the joker to the thief
‘There’s too much confusion,
I can’t get no relief’
Businessmen, they drink my wine,
plowmen dig my earth
None of them along the line
know what any of it is worth.”
(All Along the Watchtower)

Then take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind
Down the foggy ruins of time,
Far past the frozen leaves
The haunted, frightened trees,
Out to the windy beach
Far from the twisted reach
Of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free
Silhouetted by the sea,
Circled by the circus sands
With all memory and fate
Driven deep beneath the waves
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.
(Mr. Tambourine Man)

Come writers and critics who prophesy with your pen
And keep your eyes wide the chance won’t come again
And don’t speak too soon for the wheel’s still in spin
And there’s no tellin’ who that it’s namin’.
For the loser now will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin’.
(The Times They Are a-Changin’)

Somebody Please Tell Bob He Won

Bob Dylan awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature