IRONY SOMETIMES CRACKS ME UP. I belong to several email lists (loops, whatever) and on one of them recently I wrote a comment about Christians who claim to read fiction, but who actually seem to enjoy it mainly for the chance it offers to be offended. Most novelists working in the world of Christian fiction have received outraged letters from these people. In my email comment I referred to them as “dreaded blue haired church ladies.” Of the 1,000 or so other people on the list, most understood exactly what I meant (probably they were Dana Carvey fans), but a tiny and very vocal group took me to task for using that phrase. They responded to the entire loop, saying one should not reinforce negative stereotypes; one should be more sensitive to other people’s feelings. Oh, you would have thought I’d called Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton the “N” word!
One of the funny things about irony is the way it’s usually lost on those who need it most. How I laughed when I realized these people had been so easily offended by words I used to describe people who are easily offended! But then I started getting private emails. People I had never heard of wrote to say they had stopped speaking their minds on the list out of fear that they too would be slapped down. Soon I realized there was a deeper problem than simply a few folks who wear their feelings on their sleeves. The situation wasn’t funny anymore. To understand why, I think we have to start with this:
The Bible is not a rulebook for life; it’s a book of higher principles, which are illustrated by examples we too often mistake for rules.
Consider the Internet and especially email, for example. They can be wonderful things. I don’t know how I got along without them before. (Just think of how much money it would take to buy a stamp for every note you email today!) What a blessing to be able to fire off notes so quickly…and what a curse. Sometimes emails can be as difficult to control as our tongues.
Take a moment to read what the Bible has to say about this problem, and notice that it offers no rules about emails. Instead it gives a principle which applies perfectly to a technology the author never dreamed possible.
This can cut both ways. I believed my words were innocent, of course. I believed the offended people were just oversensitive. But what if they were right? Should I have been more sensitive with my words, in case they reached some actual old lady with blue hair and very strong church affiliations, who might have had her feelings hurt because she thought I was referring to her? Well, maybe. Humility is not thinking less about yourself; it’s thinking more of others. So maybe I wasn’t thinking enough about the real “blue haired church ladies” out there.
If so, it leads to another principle that applies.
“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” (Matthew 18:15-17) NIV
If we are offended by someone’s words in an email, taking them to task for it and copying an entire list of others is like stepping up behind the podium in a church sanctuary and accusing someone by name of a sin before the entire congregation. How strange that people who would never dream of doing that except as an absolute last resort can be so quick to do it via email. What a shame we don’t apply Jesus’ principle instead.
Similarly, in any public exchange of ideas such as an email list (or a blog comment), we Christians ought to guard our words as closely as we ought to guard our tongues. While the Bible says a lot about controlling speech and nothing about how to write an email, the principle applies equally to both. “In your anger, do not sin” as Paul commanded the Ephesians. He might just as well have written, “In your offense, do not email.”
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21) NIV
This is such a relevant post! So often, people hide behind the veil of the internet and anonymity to speak acid words at one another. Just check out the comments section on ANY news report. This detached and hateful dialogue has actually driven a few to take their lives (how difficult it is to be a teen these days). I wonder if it is another way to feel all powerful…and the current ideal is to regret nothing.
Oh be careful little tongue what you say.
Well said, my friend! Messaging and the manner in which we deliver words today can be interpreted many ways. Thanks for using scripture to shed some light on what’s become an often damaging practice on a global platform – communication. Moving forward I believe I will pause and quote Prov. 18:21 prior to hitting SEND!
(My best to Sue and I miss you both in Dallas!)
A friend posted this on Facebook and I followed the link. Glad I did. The post was very thought-provoking. Every medium is a tongue and we should apply James’ admonishments about the tongue accordingly. I admit that I was taken-aback by your assertion that the Bible isn’t a rule book for our lives. I firmly believe otherwise, but I understand that you meant that it doesn’t include specific applications to every facet of everyone’s life at all points in history. That is where diligent study comes in. Where I do completely disagree is at this point : “Instead it gives a principle which applies perfectly to a technology the author never dreamed possible.” 2 Timothy 3:16 states that God breathed all scripture, making him the author. He not only imagined all technology, his imagination made it so. Reading further, it states that all scripture “is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” A The more we study and apply his word, the more we build up others and ourselves. Thank you, again, for giving me this moment of reflection.
Thank you for this. So much Truth here.
James has so much to say about the power of our tongues. The tongue is an extension of our minds and out of it comes the heart conditions. We need transformation at a root level and this happens deep within. As far as the scripture being only a set of principles, I would have to disagree. Jesus Christ not only reinforced the ten commandments, He took it deeper still. A lustful look was the same as adultery and anger with spoken words that where inappropriate because tantamount to murder. Christ looks at the heart and we often are self deceived and need the light of His touch to expose our darkness. That is why the Holy Spirit was sent to help us in our times of need, both for conviction and for encouragement. Not a single jot or tittle will pass away until all God’s Word is fulfilled. Am I legalistic,. absolutely not but every word in God’s Word matters, It is the Living Word that became flesh that we need taking the written Word and transforming our lives. That take all of God’s wisdom. It is more than a principle, Christ Himself is the goal.
Great post! I remember when that flap was going around the loop. You certainly didn’t deserve all the flack! And the reactions probably did have the effect of discouraging members from posting.
But I appreciate your take on the larger issue of sensitivity to others. Good reminder for me not to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.
Blessings!
Maybe it will help if I explain my comment about rules and principles a little further.
When Jesus said, “Not one jot or tittle will disappear until everything is accomplished,” he wasn’t saying “These rules will last forever.” On the contrary, he was saying they would no longer matter once the thing they symbolized had been done, because then the reason for the rules would be written on the heart, not in stone. And that was indeed accomplished. It’s what Jesus meant when he said, “It is finished.”
Even before it was finished, Jesus had already spent three years trying to explain the difference between the cold dead stone of rules and the living flesh of principles. The Torah says “You shall not commit adultery,” and those in Jesus’ day who wanted to reduce God’s Word to a list of rules assumed that simply means don’t have sex with another man’s wife. But Jesus came along and said they had missed the underlying principle, which is, don’t even DESIRE to have sex with another man’s wife. (Ditto the Torah’s “You shall not murder” versus Jesus’ “Don’t even get angry.”) Many people in Jesus’ day thought he was a heretic because he went around breaking their interpretation of the Bible’s rules (“working” on the Sabbath, for example). What they didn’t understand, and what some people still don’t understand today, is that Jesus’ principles are even harder to obey than their rules.
So this post I wrote lets nobody off the hook. On the contrary, it calls on us to follow a principle that’s much more difficult to obey than all the rules we find in the Bible. In fact, all those rules are merely there to show us what this principle looks like in action. I know that’s true, because if everybody lived according to this principle, there would be no need for the rules. And if you know your Bible you know what the principle is: “love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind, and love your neighbor as you love yourself.”
Jesus called those two statements “commands,” but does that make them rules? I think not. Jesus’ whole life as a Jewish carpenter was lived to illustrate the fact that love is a way of being, not a rule. A rule is something black or white. You do it or you don’t, and there’s little room for argument. Exceeding the speed limit, for example, or the eating food that isn’t kosher. But it’s impossible to define love that same way. One can’t accurately say, “If you see ____ happening then you know for a fact that the person is doing it because of love.” For example, Jesus said there is no greater love than to give one’s life for another, but he did not say love is the only reason people give their lives. Love simply cannot be defined with a set of rules.
Love is the principle I had in mind when I wrote this post. It’s the reason in a nutshell why God gave us the Bible. It’s the reason for everything God did, does, and will do, because what God does He does for Himself above all else, and as the Bible says, “God is love.”
@AtholDickson Wow! That’ll preach. You’ve taken something I understood and made it even clearer. Thanks, Athol.
To my chagrin,in a conversation with a new church member yesterday, I referred to the most senior of our ladies Sunday School classes as the Blue Hairs. My first thought was a hope that I didn’t offend. :)When I was new to social networks (before Facebook!), I learned how not to be offensive on email lists from a moderator who did just as you said – emailed me privately and explained (gently) how what I said wasn’t appropriate or could be taken the wrong way. I’ve followed his example and gently corrected others – sometimes it was received graciously, sometimes not.) I also learned from the negative example set by members who refused to listen to correction and seemed to make it their goal to be antagonistic. And I think I agree with you on the Bible not being a rule book (especially after reading your comment below). God doesn’t want us to follow a bunch of rules – He wants to have a relationship with us. I’ve heard the Bible referred to as God’s love letter to man. In it He tells us about Himself, and how live in relationship with Him. And it IS all summed up in the “great commandment” – Love the Lord and love others. (paraphrase). Even on the internet.